WITHERED

Have you ever bought flowers for someone (or yourself?? So sad...) You know how the flowers comes with that packet of stuff that you are supposed to put in the water after you find a vase to put them in. So then, why do you put the stuff from the packet into the water?? Well, we have figured out that when we pick flowers we are actually killing them and the stuff in the packet that goes in water is like flower life support. The only problem is that their condition is terminal; when we cut the flowers from their roots we are killing them. It is kind of weird that people seem to enjoy flowers so much that they would kill them. In short, the upside is that flowers bring a little beauty into the house; the downside is that you have to ultimately kill the flowers. Every flower that is cut from its root will eventually wither and die - even with the flower food.

At the Hectic pace that life moves today it is easy to find ourselves feeling a little disconnected or maybe cut off. We often times will neglect the importance of being connected altogether. It's easy to become so busy with the business of life that we cease to really live; we don't notice that we have been living disconnected lives. By the time we realize it we have neglected our soul for so long that we have done some serious damage; our soul is withered - like a flower cut from its roots.

Have you ever looked into the face of someone who has withered on the inside. You can see a loss of hope, and purpose, you can sense neglect, and lack of direction. Without connection to a source of strength we also will wither and die, maybe not physically but our soul will certainly shrivel to nothing.

What do we do? Jesus put it this way, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers..." Jesus gives life to our soul. Jesus at the center of who we are gives a whole new level of meaning and purpose to everything we do. We no longer work and live for ourselves, but for something - someone - greater than we are, and somehow that gives us a new level of meaning - gives life to our soul. It would be like that flower growing an entirely new root system. It gives new life. We go from withered, shriveled, and empty, to healed, healthy, and whole.

The wholeness we feel that comes with success lasts only as long as the success lasts - it is temporary - like the food you give a flower after it has been cut. As the flower food does not bring life or wholeness to the flower so success or anything else does not bring true wholeness to us. This is true for anything we use to help us feel healed, healthy or whole. Jesus came that we could have life and have it to the full.

So the next time you buy flowers at the store or just put some freshly cut flowers from the yard in a vase, ask yourself how you may have cut yourself from the true source, and perhaps how you have tried to use a temporary source to help you feel alive...

Just a meandering thought...

Autumn

The Autumn rains are falling,
leaves are shedding their green
streaks of yellow and orange
and the rains are falling.

In the air a slight chill
the chill makes the air seem clear
seems cleaned by the change of the seasons
there's a chill in the change in the air

The tide of green recedes
leaving a shore of orange and red
soon will be a barren shore
the green recedes, the color breaks through

But for now the autumn rains are falling
the air is clear and clean
the colorful shore remains
and life is good...

Just a thought...

Change

Taking a look outside today it is easy to see the change of the seasons. This really is my favorite time of year. The trees are gushing with color. It seems as if the colors drip off the trees and lie in puddles on the ground just beneath these fountains of golden hues. There is a slight nip in the air and at just the right time you can step outside and smell the smoke from the chimneys.

The ancient Celts believed that this was a magical time of year when the border between this world and the next was at its thinnest. They believed that at certain times and in certain places the two worlds would overlap. They believed it was possible to pass from this world to the next in these places of overlap. Our present day celebration of Halloween has its roots in this belief event hough the holiday is nothing of what it was in the prehistory of the British Isles.

So this time of year is filled with all kinds of magical changes. The leaves are brightening, the temperature is dropping, the sweaters are coming out, there is an occasional frost on the ground. This is the kind of change that I enjoy. However not all changes are so pleasant. In fact for most of us change is very unpleasant and sometimes even painful. It has been said that all change is loss. When something changes it is no longer the same (I know this is terribly obvious) but since it is no longer the same there is a part of us that mourns the loss of things as they were. We cannot go back. We cannot get it back. We have lost it.

Mourning the loss of things that change is an important process in coming to grips with the fact that things have changed. We sometimes watch a video from several years back, or click through pictures from a time gone by and we think of what it was like. We feel sad that those times have come and gone. In those moments we are experiencing a kind of mourning. Change has taken place and we feel a sense of loss.

Life is change. And so if we live long enough we will experience the loss of change and the need to mourn that change. The scripture reminds us that God does not shield us from experiencing these sometimes difficult times in our lives or the emotions that go with them. Intimacy with Jesus does not exempt or insulate us from the hurt of change even when it is not our choice. Intimacy with Christ tells us that no matter what the changes that come our way, no matter what the loss is that we feel; the veil between our world and His is never closed. He is as close as the mention of his name.

The Ancient Celts were close. They believed they had access to the "otherworld" twice a year, around the Spring and Autumn Equinox. What we know is that through Christ we have access to the "otherworld" by simply calling His name. Even though the pain of loss does not go away, somehow knowing that someone is there makes it a little more bearable.

Just a thought...

Fragrance

I am fascinated by the affect that smells can have on us; where they can bring us. Have you ever walked into your parents home on Christmas Eve and been taken back to your childhood by the smells of the home when you walked in? One of my college roommates still remembers the smell of a particular girl at school whenever he smells the scent of vanilla perfume, or vanilla anything really. There is the smell of fresh cut grass that reminds me of summer. The smell of the road right after a mid-summer rain storm is another. The smell of a fire in the fireplace or at a campsite makes me think of comfort and warmth after being cold. Each of these and countless others brings us all back to a place in our lives, perhaps good perhaps bad, but the scent... sends us somewhere.

These last couple of mornings I have left my apartment a little earlier than usual for school orientation. When I walked outside I was greeted by some familiar smells. I smelled the morning dew. I smells the fresh crisp morning air. I smelled the smell that I remember smelling on those early days of September when I would be going back to school. It reminds me of the nervousness of seeing students and friends I had not seen all summer long. It reminds me of cutting up paper grocery bags to make book covers for them. It reminds me of heavy backpacks. It reminds me of football practice, classes, lunchrooms, fire drills, homework... it reminds me of the first day of school. What a coincidence I am in orientation for my first day of school... post grad to be exact.

It has been many years since I rode my bike to school, I may be doing that again (out of choice) The backpack is now a shoulder bag, there is no gym class or study halls, some classes have like fifty people in them, some possibly more, there are a ton of things that are different. The one thing that is the same is the early morning September smell from years ago. I am thirty three years old, I am pursuing a Master's degree but this morning, for a brief moment, I was eight years old on the first day of school.

I wonder sometimes, when smells remind Jesus of the cross. I wonder what smells remind Jesus of a fire side denial. What was going through Peter's mind (as a fisherman) when he set foot out of the boat. When Jesus taught in the temple courts during the week before his crucifixion was he reminded about the time he was left there by his parents? When he was teaching there at twelve years old was he thinking of the time he would turn over tables? Are there smells that make Jesus think of me? The smell of denial, of compassion, of forgiveness. If Jesus were to "smell" my life, where would that take him? Can we say, "our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God..." as 2Corinthians talks about? What do "smell like to God? What does God think of when he catches a whiff of your life??

Just a thought...

Word

Did you know that the second most published book in the history of published books is the boyscout handbook? The most published book in the history of published books is the Bible, but second to it... the Boyscout handbook. Interesting that both are considered by some to be a guidebook of sorts.

I recently read a quote about the Bible. It goes, and this is not a direct quote, we use the Bible as guide book that is supposed to show us the way through life. But the Bible is actually a mirror that reflects back to us who we really are. That sent me on a rabbit trail of thought. The idea that the Bible reflects back to us who we really are is unfortunately a somewhat novel way of understanding the scriptures. That we can better understand ourselves by better understanding God's Word speaks to the passage that God's word is "living and active". However to say that God's word IS one thing and NOT something else is potentially limiting the scope of impact for scripture.

At times in my life I have needed guidance or wisdom and the Proverbs were a guide book for me. There have been times in my life when I was broken and hurt, and the Psalms brought comfort and rest. There have been times when I was not really looking for anything and was just reading in the Bible and out of nowhere, something leaped off the page and like a jackhammer it shook me.

There have been times when I need to learn about leadership and life of David or Moses spoke to me. I think the point is that the Bible is at times a mirror to better understand ourselves, but the Bible is also a guidebook for those who are lost, it is a cast for those who are broken, it is a jackhammer for those who need to be shaken, it is a warm blanket for those who feel left out in the cold. Since God is the author, the Bible really can speak to people on their level. It will speak to you, where you are at, no matter where that place happens to be. God is big enough to handle all of our issues and baggage and struggles and His Word is powerful enough to pierce to our hearts and deal with the core issues that we carry.

How often have we tried to figure our life out on our own. How often have we tried to fix our problems, mend our brokenness, discover who we are, without using the tools that God gave us in the first place, His very words. His Word is usually a great place to start. It will lead you and guide you, it will show you who you really are.

Just a thought...

Card

So I was getting some things done in the office today and I noticed a package in my in box. It was kind of large so immediately I am thinking I got a book in the mail which always gets me excited. I noticed the label on the large envelope stating that it was from the Southern New England District of the Assemblies of God. Right away I knew it was not a book but I was thinking it was a package for camp. Probably some information for planning purposes. This was not the case either.

I opened the large envelope and inside where a couple of envelopes and papers and booklets dealing with the inner workings of ministry for the A/G. I discovered that I had been given "final approval by the General Council of the Assembly of God." What this means was that I now have a "license to Preach." I am not sure if that means I have been preaching illegally for the past eight and a half years (haha) but it did mean that I was recognized by the A/G leadership as someone who could be now officially be considered an A/G minister.

It is kind of weird how one card, one signature, can change everything and yet change nothing. Receiving this card will not change a whole lot of what I do on a daily basis. At the same time there is a greater weight to what I do. It is like, before I stood alone as I preached, but now I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.

There have been many great people who have held the card that I now have, and there have been many losers too. There have been people who have pleased God, some who have failed man; there have been some who have been honored in the halls of academia, and others banished to prison walls; some have held talks with heads of state, and others who have held the dying in their hands; some who have lived their whole life in the comfort of mediocrity, and others who have sold everything and lived a life in obscurity sacrificing every worldly pleasure and had no recognition.

Now that I have this card, this title, what is different for me now?? What kind of life will I lead, what legacy will be left when I leave this world? It seems that wide is the road of the mediocre and many travel that road (it is just easier), but narrow is the road that is travelled by the revolutionary. I hope I am known as one who journeyed on the road less travelled; according to Robert Frost, it has made all the difference.

In light of what others who held the position you now hold went on to do, what will you do in the position you hold today???

Just a thought...

Baptism

Last night was one of the more memorable nights in the almost nine years that I have been doing youth ministry full time at Calvary Christian Church. It was my first water baptism service... one where I did all the water baptisms and everyone baptized was a student. Going into the night I did not have this huge super spiritual idea of what was going to happen. I did not glamorize, in my head or to anyone else, this event. I was really focused on all the details leading up to the dunking. I was so caught up in being sure that everyone knew what they were doing, why they were doing it, how they were going to do it, I really had not thought too much about how the night would impact me, or how it should impact me.

It did not start to hit me until I put that first kid under. In slow motion I could see the water rush over their face. I could see them - their eyes closed and holding their breath, and in that very moment they are practicing obedience and they are identifying with Christ and I get to hold them in that moment. I get to be with them as they so closely identify with Christ.

I did not get goose bumps, I did not fall out in the Spirit, I did not have a vision of the cross or see God's plan for my life mapped out in front of me. I simply smiled. When it was over, I smiled because I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. I felt a deep sense of contentment. I was with these students as they came up out of the water into new life. A symbolic declaration of their new life in Christ.
It was one of the most rewarding experiences I have had in ministry. Performing baptisms for the first time was not what I was expecting it to be. It was better.

Culture

I had a conversation with a pastor recently talking about the role of the church in culture and society. The point he was making was that if the culture that the church is in is not a biblical culture then part of the church's responsibility is to counteract and change the culture. Mind you that this conversation was had in the context of using elements of culture like T.V shows, movies and video clips from the internet and other things in a message to help illustrate or make a point. His perspective was that in using clips and video's from the media we are endorsing the t.v. show or movie and supporting the depravity of the culture.
I was thinking about this conversation recently and wondering how does a church go about changing culture, for that matter, how does any organization or initiative go about changing culture? For hundreds of years the church was the center of culture. Some how the culture drifted away from the church and the church rather than try to reinvent culture, or impact it somehow, decided to simply become critical of culture, and for the much of the 20th century was content to criticize culture. Since the seventies and eighties the church has done a lot of copying culture (just take a look at Christian t-shirts and hats and even some music) but the church has not quite stepped back into the role of creating culture. In the last five to ten years there has been conversations about creating culture.
So for better or worse the culture is what it is. The church has not played a part in creating it, we left that to MTV, MySpace, Facebook and Abercrombie, therefore the church has three options, criticize it, copy it, or assimilate it and use the current culture to speak to the people who live in it. The only other option is to create its own culture in the hopes that there will be some component of that culture that would appeal to those outside of it, which would in turn draw them in and begin transformation of the culture.
I really don't know which way is best. It just seems to me that the church at large does not have the best track record with creating culture or being the center of culture. We would rather sit back and warn people of the evils of culture, and what happens to your faith if you get too close to it, rather than rather than hold it in our hands and see it as a tool for relevance and life application.
Just a meandering thought...

Beauty

Have you ever looked at something and thought that it was beautiful, only to see someone else observe the same thing and think is was just okay? Like... why does one guy look at a girl and think that she is gorgeous and another guy see her and think she is "just okay"? Have you ever seen a sunset and thought it was beautiful, or stood on top of a mountain and thought this view is beautiful? or the beach, or an open field on a clear night? Have you ever wondered what makes something beautiful and something else, just okay? You have heard of the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder right? What about someone who is blind? How do they perceive beauty? If beauty is just in the eye of the beholder then someone who is blind would never be able to experience beauty. What a tragedy...
So I was thinking about beauty the other day and wondering what makes something beautiful. It seems that beauty has to be more than just what is seen. Maybe the sound of the birds chirping on a spring morning, the smell of herbs from the herb garden in the evening, the taste of fresh strawberry's in the summer, the feel of warm beach sand beneath your feet, the sound of a mountain stream, the smell of chimney smoke in the Fall, the way a snow flake feels when it lands on your face. I could go on but you get the point. True beauty is experienced by all of your physical senses. When your physical senses perceive something that resonates with your soul you experience true beauty. When that place in your soul is attracted to or longs to be near, what your senses take in, you experience beauty.
This is how we can say that even though the cross of Christ was gruesome and horrific, it was also at the same time beautiful. The display of love, the compassion for a lost thief, the strength it took to stay on the cross. These are things that resonate with us. So beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder, true beauty is perceived by the soul - by the heart of a person. You think something is beautiful when your eyes (or any of your other four) senses experience something your heart already knows.
Find something that is beautiful today and take in the full experience...

Addiction

I was in Guatemala recently and it was really one of the best missions trips that I have taken students on. We went into public schools, did dramas and skits, our missionary host talked in between and at the end of our school assemblies we had the opportunity to pray with a ton of kids. The language barrier did not seem to be a big deal either. Plus we got to hike up an active volcano!!! It was memorable to say the least.
One of the things I heard our students say over and over was that they did not want to go home. I even heard, "I hate the U.S.", and, "I love Guatemala" we heard a lot of, "I have to come back", and "we can't leave yet". The comments sound kind of extreme, but if you experienced what we experienced you might understand. I was struck by the absolute nature of the comments. They used words like "hate", "have to" and others. They used the same kinds of words that a drug addict uses when they need another fix (yes I have had contact with users).
Addicts have had an experience (albeit a harmful one) with drugs that push them to extremes both in speech and in action to come back in close contact with the drug that they are craving. Our students had an experience in Guatemala that pushed them to extremes, both in Guatemala and now here in the States now that we have returned.
I hate cliches, especially church cliches, and the idea that some students might be "addicted to Jesus" makes me cringe, but is it possible that an experience like that where you know that what you are doing is a God thing and peoples lives are being changed because God has chosen to move through you in that moment? Is it possible to experience something on a spiritual level that so impacts your biology and chemistry that you literally crave more of God; almost like an addiction. You have this craving for more and more.
David experienced that, just check Psalm 63. To feel like you are going to die unless you get in touch with what you are so craving. It is almost like an addiction... Have you ever had that kind of experience with God?? One that causes you to HAVE to go back?? Can you imagine, a craving for God?

Just a thought...

Etymology

There was a movie that came out a while back, one of Bruckhiemer's early blockbusters, staring Sean Connery, and Nicolas Cage. The Movie "The Rock" was really a great action movie where a group of highly trained men have to break into Alcatraz to save San Fransisco from annihilation from the deadly vx gas. Nicolas Cage's character is named Stanley Goodspeed (I don't remember Sean Connery's character's name). At the end of the movie, Sean Connery's character asks Stanley Goodspeed if he knows the etymology of his last name. It seems like an odd question to ask at the end of a major action flick where people are blown apart the island of Alcatraz is shot to pieces and they barely survive exposure to the deadly gas, but there they are catching their breath and the question is asked. Goodspeed comes from the saying God-speed; a way of saying, farewell. A fitting way to close the movie. Wherever you go from here... God-speed.

The fact that words have a history is fascinating to me. It's almost like they have a family tree. Some of our words have Latin roots, some have Germanic roots. As I thought about how Goodspeed comes from Godspeed and how many words in the English language come from other much older words, I was struck by the fact that words are kind of like people, they have a history. The study of their history is called Etymology. As words have a history, a story of how they became what they are today, so do our hearts.

Your heart bares the marks of your history. The hurts, the joys, the high points and the low points are all marks left on your heart. They are part of the Etymology of your heart. The condition of your heart today is the result of all the places you have been and the people who have touched you, good or bad. digging into the history of a word can bring you some interesting information. Digging into the history of your heart can be interesting albeit painful or perhaps even insightful. What is good news for all of us is that whatever our history is, God redeems every last moment. God does not waste a single second. In fact many times he uses those things that we might think are useless and of no value.

The insight that can come from looking into the etymology of your heart can have eternal value. Don't be afraid of what you find because God can use whatever you have.

And so, Godspeed...

Tending

When you have been living on your own for a while, getting married is like running into a brick wall... Everything changes - and it can be uncomfortable. Although because it is marriage it might be more like running into a mattress. Either way getting through it takes some work. The way I go about living my life changes. I don't do stuff when I want to, and I do stuff that I don't want to (dishes, trash, etc...)

In the long run however, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. I know that there will always be someone there for me, someone in my corner who is cheering me on... My biggest fan. Tonight I get to take care of my biggest fan. She is sick on the couch right now, fell asleep about half an hour ago. I am trying to think of it as my honor and privilege to tend to her.

In my tending to her I could not help but think that we all from time to time develop spiritual sickness of one kind or another. The symptoms that we develop depend on what it is that we are sick with (sin of one kind or another). Jesus, the great physician, helps us understand what it is we are sick with if we are willing to listen. But the real issue is, who tends to us when we are sick? What people; who is it in our life that will help us in the times when we are sick? Yes. Jesus is there, but Jesus many times cares for us through others.

Sometimes we are so sick we cannot help ourselves and we need others around us to carry us; to confront us (lovingly ;-) of course) and get us through our times of spiritual sickness. Then again sometimes it is enough just to know that someone is there. Sometimes just having someone in the same room with us is enough. Tending to someone who is sick may take many forms but the point is that someone is doing the tending.

So tonight I tend to the woman sick on the couch, and one of these days she will tend to me...

Beginnings

So I have been wanting to do this for a while now and I finally sat down and forced my self to do this. I am one of those guys who tends naturally to keep to myself but almost always has random thoughts popping in and out of my head. Which brings me to why I chose this title...

I chose the title of my blog really from the combination of two sources. First my mind can tend to wander from one random place to the next and the idea of capturing some of them and getting those out "there" seemed worth while.

A vagabond (according to dictionary.com) means wandering from place to place without any settled home; nomadic. Ragamuffin comes from a book by Brennan Manning and basically describes those who are poor, blind, lame, prostitutes, persecuted, downtrodden, held captive, the least, the last and the lost... and yet find that they are furiously loved by God. I kind of feel that sometimes physically but certainly spiritually we have all been there. Hence a vagabond ragamuffin is one who sometimes wanders but is always caught by the crazy love of God.

So I thought I might take some time to actually type out some of those meandering thoughts. Perhaps to leave a marker for any who may come behind me. Even though I wander, meandering through an imperfect concept of God, his love and how I can wrap my life around that, if and when I fall, it will be into his arms and his crazy love for me.