I am officially part of the club. I have celebrated my first holiday dedicated to me. I don't know the secret handshake (if there is one) but I am now a part of the club where all the members are Fathers. Yesterday was my first and it was my dad's thirty fourth... (yikes). Being a father is hard but good... I know that seems simple but Samuel just had a dirty diaper like you would not believe and that is hard but watching him smile at the simplest things is good.
That being said, life is not simple, neither is being a father. As I think about what it has been like so far here are some words that I think describe it:
Fun: I love taking Samuel outside and letting him feel the grass as he sits and tries to eat it. Or letting him feel the bark of a tree, or seeing the way he gets excited when the wind blows on his face. You should see the size of his smile when he is on the swings, it is so fun.
Asfoweinwtrehhr: Yes that is a word, I made it up. It is one of the many I have made up that Samuel seems to understand. I can tell because when I say it to him he looks right at me with a weird look on his face as if to tell me that I mispronounced it.
Tiring: Sometimes Samuel goes to bed early, sometimes late; sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes very early in the morning. Samuel takes naps, but only when he is tired and he does not let us know when that will be ahead of time. He is only crawling now but somehow we still have to run after him. When we are done with the diaper changes, the feedings, the baths, the keeping him occupied with little chew toys that also make noise so that he does not start crying when he is hungry or tired, then we start with the regular stuff we have to do. It's tiring
Hard: My life is not my own any more. I thought that I lost autonomy when I got married, and I did, but whatever illusion I was under that I still had some fraction of my life to myself evaporated when Samuel came along. Reading email is a chore because Samuel is in the other room and he might be about to fall over. All of life's activities now orbit around his nap schedule and when they don't we hear about it.
Extra: It takes more of everything. It takes extra energy to last through the day. You need extra time to get out the door, an extra bag for Samuel who needs extra diapers and extra clothes. You need to prepare extra food for the extra mouth to feed. You always need extra money to pay for the extra food. When you finally go to bed you are extra tired and would like to get extra sleep, but Samuel gets up extra early...
Rewarding: ummmm... not yet, but from what the older fathers tell me that time will come. Right now it can sometimes feel like it is more work that it is worth, but somewhere down the road I know it will be worth all the work.
Oh and in case you did not catch it already that is F.A.T.H.E.R.
Just a Meandering Thought...
That being said, life is not simple, neither is being a father. As I think about what it has been like so far here are some words that I think describe it:
Fun: I love taking Samuel outside and letting him feel the grass as he sits and tries to eat it. Or letting him feel the bark of a tree, or seeing the way he gets excited when the wind blows on his face. You should see the size of his smile when he is on the swings, it is so fun.
Asfoweinwtrehhr: Yes that is a word, I made it up. It is one of the many I have made up that Samuel seems to understand. I can tell because when I say it to him he looks right at me with a weird look on his face as if to tell me that I mispronounced it.
Tiring: Sometimes Samuel goes to bed early, sometimes late; sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night, sometimes very early in the morning. Samuel takes naps, but only when he is tired and he does not let us know when that will be ahead of time. He is only crawling now but somehow we still have to run after him. When we are done with the diaper changes, the feedings, the baths, the keeping him occupied with little chew toys that also make noise so that he does not start crying when he is hungry or tired, then we start with the regular stuff we have to do. It's tiring
Hard: My life is not my own any more. I thought that I lost autonomy when I got married, and I did, but whatever illusion I was under that I still had some fraction of my life to myself evaporated when Samuel came along. Reading email is a chore because Samuel is in the other room and he might be about to fall over. All of life's activities now orbit around his nap schedule and when they don't we hear about it.
Extra: It takes more of everything. It takes extra energy to last through the day. You need extra time to get out the door, an extra bag for Samuel who needs extra diapers and extra clothes. You need to prepare extra food for the extra mouth to feed. You always need extra money to pay for the extra food. When you finally go to bed you are extra tired and would like to get extra sleep, but Samuel gets up extra early...
Rewarding: ummmm... not yet, but from what the older fathers tell me that time will come. Right now it can sometimes feel like it is more work that it is worth, but somewhere down the road I know it will be worth all the work.
Oh and in case you did not catch it already that is F.A.T.H.E.R.
Just a Meandering Thought...
