WEDDING

Well, one of the professors at the school I was staying at has a daughter. This daughter was getting married. This professor was teaching his classes like a good professor and looking after us Americans while he was planning and preparing for said wedding.

The tall guy in the middle with the white shirt is the happy groom, I am the slightly shorter guy on the left with the white shirt. The guy immediately to right of the groom in the light blue shirt is the father of the bride and the professor I talked with who gave me the official invitation.

He had a lot on his plate, not to mention whatever emotional stuff he must have been going through at the time as well. I was fortunate enough to have the timing of the wedding line up with the timing of my departure from Delhi, so I received an official invitation. I was officially invited to this Indian wedding.

This is the church where the wedding was held. It was built in the 1930's during a time when Muslims were in power in this area of Delhi so the building reflects the Muslim influenced architecture could be seen in many buildings constructed during that time.

I left the college where I had been living for almost six weeks at four in the morning. It had been my home away from home during that time. I was surprised, therefore, that when I left there were no tears of leaving. It’s not that I was glad to be leaving or anything, just that I was glad to be one step closer to my real home… my wife and son. On previous trips over the past ten years or so, I have had a chance to build strong bonds with the people I was working with. On this trip the people I was working with (the Americans) were already gone; and there were so many students, and so many classes I ended up teaching that I did not really get a chance to form bonds with any one group of kids… So leaving was not difficult.

It was so hot in the church that they actually had guys walking up and down the isles offering water to people sitting in the pews. I, being the smart American traveler who knows what to eat and drink and what not to chose to sit in my sweat without relief.

Anyways, this wedding was a Christian wedding, so it did not have all the trappings of Hindu tradition, otherwise the celebration would still be going on. Their ceremonies last a long time, and everything is pretty formal. There are usually four or five ministers present at the wedding, and each have a specific role in the service. For this wedding there were three sermons… yeah three. I arrived a little late because my ride got stuck in the Delhi traffic. After finding out what I missed I was sort of okay with being late.

The bride and groom just after they exchange vows. Thought the bride looked angelic in this shot.

Some parts of the wedding will be different depending on where in India you are from. I was fortunate that the father of the bride is a little progressive in his perspective on things as he was educated in America. So a service that in some places in India will be as long as five hours, was only two and some change. The reception was interesting in that the Bride and Groom sit on a platform and smile for hours as all (that word I just typed is not to be taken figuratively) All the guests line up and approach the platform with their wedding gift. Once on the platform they pose and smile for the photographer and then hug and walk off the platform. This process goes on for almost the entire duration of the reception.

The happy couple after the ceremony. I am pretty sure they are smiling because they are finally able to step outside where it is at least ten or fifteen degrees cooler. Also, their wedding ceremony is the most amount of time they have ever spent together.

The bride and groom hand out little favors to each guest and say thanks for coming, and the guests pose and smile… even me… yup, I had never met them before but I got my picture taken with them. (Top photo) One other unique thing about this couple that American’s would find appalling: this particular couple had met for one hour about month before they were married and that was it. That is right arraigned marriages are alive and well in India. This couple was fortunate to get an hour; most are much less, and some never meet beforehand.

DWAR

The place we visited along the Ganges river is called Hari Dwar. It is close to Rishikesh, made famous by the Beetles when they came to meet with a guru here. The word “hari” means god and the word “dwar” means gate or door. So the place that we went to see the Ganges river is referred to as the door to god or the gateway to the gods. The gods are believed to reside in the mountains which are about a two hour drive to the Northeast. There are many myths and stories surrounding the gateway to the gods. It is the reason why this place will see millions of people during the pilgrimage season. One of the more well known stories behind Hari Dwar goes like this:

There was a battle between the gods and the demons over a substance call "Amrit". "Mrit" in Sanskrit means "life", and Amrit, is anti life. The "a" has the same effect in Sanskrit as it does in Greek, they are from the same base language that scholars called Proto-Indo-European (P.I.E.). It is a theoretical base pre-historic language for where scholars believe Greek, Sanskrit even Latin came from. I digress...

So the demons and the gods were fighting over a substance called Amrit. Amrit is a powerful milky substance which holds the power of life and death. (Note the motherly, life giving connotation). Whoever controlled this milky substance would control all of life. Fiercely, both sides fought for control of the Amrit. At some point the gods gave the demons what they were led to believe was Amrit, but was actually a divine form of liquor and the gods took control of the Amrit. As the gods escaped a brief scuffle ensued and the container of Amrit tipped and was about to fall to the earth where it would not be able to be recovered. Instinctively, without thinking, Shiva jumped underneath the spilling Amrit and caught it in his mouth to prevent it from being lost to earth. As a result Shiva began to choke. He could not swallow it because if he ingested the Amrit its power would overwhelm him and he would die. (Yes, I know it is ironic, but apparently the essence of life is pretty potent stuff).

To the right is a painting portraying Shiva in his pursuit of his wife Parvati. Note, this painting would have have taken place before the this fight with the demons so he is not a blueish color.

In order to save Shiva’s life, his wife, the goddess Parvati, choked him to prevent him from swallowing the Amrit. This is why in most of the pictures or paintings you see of Shiva he is a bluish color. As the gods, including Shiva, were escaping with the Mithra, Shiva was coughing up some of the Amrit, and seven drops (or ten depending on which version of the story you are hearing) fell from his mouth to the earth. These drops landed along the Ganges river and became the holy sites were people go to bath and perform their ritual washing. Going to the places where the essence of life fell from Shiva’s mouth makes the spiritual cleansing people are seeking a deeper and more thorough cleansing and that their new life will be a step up in the reincarnation process.

Hari Dwar is the first of these holy places along the Ganges river. It is were the Ganges, which flows out of the Himalayan foothills, hits the plains and goes from a narrow rushing stream to a wide, slow moving river. So the place where the river opens up; the place where a drop of Amrit, the essence of life, fell from Shiva’s mouth to earth, the last place you can stop on the Ganges before entering the region dominated by the worship of Shiva, is called Hari Dwar, the gateway of god, or door of the gods.

Hari Dwar is also one of four sites in particular where Hindu's visit once every twelve years for the festival of Kumbh Mela. It is a celestial festival based on the alignment of Jupiter with other constellations.

MOTHER

I have a mother-in-law who is a mother, a sister who is a mother, a mother who is a mother, and a wife who is a mother. They each bring their own identity to - "mother". They each show in their own way what it is to be a mom. Here are some reflections:

My Mother-in-Law: I suppose not everyone can say nice things about their in-laws without lying. Fortunately for me I can say nice things and be honest. Maria is one of the rare ones who is at good listener and easy to talk to, but is also easy to listen to. Maria is a great cook which I am thankful for because it rubbed off on her daughter, my wife. Maria also watches over Samuel three days every two weeks which is a huge sacrifice on her part and is a huge help to us. She says she does not mind and, well, I believe her because, look at the little guy she is watching for that time. She loves the outdoors and is very active which has also rubbed of on her daughter:) Maria is selfless and giving.

My Sister: Okay so as a kid one of her nicknames was "tiny tornado" that gives you an idea as to how her two daughters, my two nieces, like to play. Brooke loves to play with her kids, record them when they do silly things and then post the video to face book. Brooke walks side by side with with her kids. She is the kind of mom who would get out the coloring books for her kids and instead of using it to keep them occupied, she would grab some crayons and start coloring with them. Brooke always wants to spend time with her kids.

My mother: Well, I moved out of the house a while back, but being away for years now I look back and see a few things that I really appreciate. I appreciated the way the house smelled around the big family holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. I appreciated the way the house was decorated (even though we all participated mom was the director of decorations) I appreciated the way my mom would wait on us when we were sick. I still remember getting the small 13inch black and white T.V. for the day when I was home sick. It was a great excuse to watch all the junk on T.V. when I was not really allowed to. I appreciate that my mom chauffeured me around to Soccer, little league baseball, football, and church events. Those are just a few reasons, but altogether she is the reason I have warm and loving feelings and thoughts when I think of the word "mother".

My Wife: So... I am not exactly sure how she does it, but this woman has super powers to rival those of Superman. She gave birth to an amazing baby boy, and six weeks later went back to work to help cover some bills, and was back to work full-time in three months. Working minimum forty hours per week, while at the same time keeping track of a quickly growing bundle of energy who is our son, is a feat of epic proportions. Not only that, but her occasional "experiments" in the kitchen end up like four course works of art - Picasso on a plate!

Her water broke while she was helping that cable guys set up internet in her office... yeah, she was helping them; she gave birth to a baby with no pain medication! In the middle of a snowstorm she straps on our son in a baby carrier and decides to see if she wants to pick up snowshoeing by throwing on my snowshoes and slogging through two feet of snow (while I was shoveling out the car). She decides that snowshoeing is not for her so instead picks up cross-country skiing. The name Sara means princess, but she is really more of a warrior princess. Probably the biggest deal about this new mom; the reason she is a warrior princess, is that she puts up with me and my nutty schedule. I am telling you... super powers...

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers in my life. We would not be here if it were not for you...