Baptism

Last night was one of the more memorable nights in the almost nine years that I have been doing youth ministry full time at Calvary Christian Church. It was my first water baptism service... one where I did all the water baptisms and everyone baptized was a student. Going into the night I did not have this huge super spiritual idea of what was going to happen. I did not glamorize, in my head or to anyone else, this event. I was really focused on all the details leading up to the dunking. I was so caught up in being sure that everyone knew what they were doing, why they were doing it, how they were going to do it, I really had not thought too much about how the night would impact me, or how it should impact me.

It did not start to hit me until I put that first kid under. In slow motion I could see the water rush over their face. I could see them - their eyes closed and holding their breath, and in that very moment they are practicing obedience and they are identifying with Christ and I get to hold them in that moment. I get to be with them as they so closely identify with Christ.

I did not get goose bumps, I did not fall out in the Spirit, I did not have a vision of the cross or see God's plan for my life mapped out in front of me. I simply smiled. When it was over, I smiled because I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. I felt a deep sense of contentment. I was with these students as they came up out of the water into new life. A symbolic declaration of their new life in Christ.
It was one of the most rewarding experiences I have had in ministry. Performing baptisms for the first time was not what I was expecting it to be. It was better.

Culture

I had a conversation with a pastor recently talking about the role of the church in culture and society. The point he was making was that if the culture that the church is in is not a biblical culture then part of the church's responsibility is to counteract and change the culture. Mind you that this conversation was had in the context of using elements of culture like T.V shows, movies and video clips from the internet and other things in a message to help illustrate or make a point. His perspective was that in using clips and video's from the media we are endorsing the t.v. show or movie and supporting the depravity of the culture.
I was thinking about this conversation recently and wondering how does a church go about changing culture, for that matter, how does any organization or initiative go about changing culture? For hundreds of years the church was the center of culture. Some how the culture drifted away from the church and the church rather than try to reinvent culture, or impact it somehow, decided to simply become critical of culture, and for the much of the 20th century was content to criticize culture. Since the seventies and eighties the church has done a lot of copying culture (just take a look at Christian t-shirts and hats and even some music) but the church has not quite stepped back into the role of creating culture. In the last five to ten years there has been conversations about creating culture.
So for better or worse the culture is what it is. The church has not played a part in creating it, we left that to MTV, MySpace, Facebook and Abercrombie, therefore the church has three options, criticize it, copy it, or assimilate it and use the current culture to speak to the people who live in it. The only other option is to create its own culture in the hopes that there will be some component of that culture that would appeal to those outside of it, which would in turn draw them in and begin transformation of the culture.
I really don't know which way is best. It just seems to me that the church at large does not have the best track record with creating culture or being the center of culture. We would rather sit back and warn people of the evils of culture, and what happens to your faith if you get too close to it, rather than rather than hold it in our hands and see it as a tool for relevance and life application.
Just a meandering thought...

Beauty

Have you ever looked at something and thought that it was beautiful, only to see someone else observe the same thing and think is was just okay? Like... why does one guy look at a girl and think that she is gorgeous and another guy see her and think she is "just okay"? Have you ever seen a sunset and thought it was beautiful, or stood on top of a mountain and thought this view is beautiful? or the beach, or an open field on a clear night? Have you ever wondered what makes something beautiful and something else, just okay? You have heard of the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder right? What about someone who is blind? How do they perceive beauty? If beauty is just in the eye of the beholder then someone who is blind would never be able to experience beauty. What a tragedy...
So I was thinking about beauty the other day and wondering what makes something beautiful. It seems that beauty has to be more than just what is seen. Maybe the sound of the birds chirping on a spring morning, the smell of herbs from the herb garden in the evening, the taste of fresh strawberry's in the summer, the feel of warm beach sand beneath your feet, the sound of a mountain stream, the smell of chimney smoke in the Fall, the way a snow flake feels when it lands on your face. I could go on but you get the point. True beauty is experienced by all of your physical senses. When your physical senses perceive something that resonates with your soul you experience true beauty. When that place in your soul is attracted to or longs to be near, what your senses take in, you experience beauty.
This is how we can say that even though the cross of Christ was gruesome and horrific, it was also at the same time beautiful. The display of love, the compassion for a lost thief, the strength it took to stay on the cross. These are things that resonate with us. So beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder, true beauty is perceived by the soul - by the heart of a person. You think something is beautiful when your eyes (or any of your other four) senses experience something your heart already knows.
Find something that is beautiful today and take in the full experience...

Addiction

I was in Guatemala recently and it was really one of the best missions trips that I have taken students on. We went into public schools, did dramas and skits, our missionary host talked in between and at the end of our school assemblies we had the opportunity to pray with a ton of kids. The language barrier did not seem to be a big deal either. Plus we got to hike up an active volcano!!! It was memorable to say the least.
One of the things I heard our students say over and over was that they did not want to go home. I even heard, "I hate the U.S.", and, "I love Guatemala" we heard a lot of, "I have to come back", and "we can't leave yet". The comments sound kind of extreme, but if you experienced what we experienced you might understand. I was struck by the absolute nature of the comments. They used words like "hate", "have to" and others. They used the same kinds of words that a drug addict uses when they need another fix (yes I have had contact with users).
Addicts have had an experience (albeit a harmful one) with drugs that push them to extremes both in speech and in action to come back in close contact with the drug that they are craving. Our students had an experience in Guatemala that pushed them to extremes, both in Guatemala and now here in the States now that we have returned.
I hate cliches, especially church cliches, and the idea that some students might be "addicted to Jesus" makes me cringe, but is it possible that an experience like that where you know that what you are doing is a God thing and peoples lives are being changed because God has chosen to move through you in that moment? Is it possible to experience something on a spiritual level that so impacts your biology and chemistry that you literally crave more of God; almost like an addiction. You have this craving for more and more.
David experienced that, just check Psalm 63. To feel like you are going to die unless you get in touch with what you are so craving. It is almost like an addiction... Have you ever had that kind of experience with God?? One that causes you to HAVE to go back?? Can you imagine, a craving for God?

Just a thought...

Etymology

There was a movie that came out a while back, one of Bruckhiemer's early blockbusters, staring Sean Connery, and Nicolas Cage. The Movie "The Rock" was really a great action movie where a group of highly trained men have to break into Alcatraz to save San Fransisco from annihilation from the deadly vx gas. Nicolas Cage's character is named Stanley Goodspeed (I don't remember Sean Connery's character's name). At the end of the movie, Sean Connery's character asks Stanley Goodspeed if he knows the etymology of his last name. It seems like an odd question to ask at the end of a major action flick where people are blown apart the island of Alcatraz is shot to pieces and they barely survive exposure to the deadly gas, but there they are catching their breath and the question is asked. Goodspeed comes from the saying God-speed; a way of saying, farewell. A fitting way to close the movie. Wherever you go from here... God-speed.

The fact that words have a history is fascinating to me. It's almost like they have a family tree. Some of our words have Latin roots, some have Germanic roots. As I thought about how Goodspeed comes from Godspeed and how many words in the English language come from other much older words, I was struck by the fact that words are kind of like people, they have a history. The study of their history is called Etymology. As words have a history, a story of how they became what they are today, so do our hearts.

Your heart bares the marks of your history. The hurts, the joys, the high points and the low points are all marks left on your heart. They are part of the Etymology of your heart. The condition of your heart today is the result of all the places you have been and the people who have touched you, good or bad. digging into the history of a word can bring you some interesting information. Digging into the history of your heart can be interesting albeit painful or perhaps even insightful. What is good news for all of us is that whatever our history is, God redeems every last moment. God does not waste a single second. In fact many times he uses those things that we might think are useless and of no value.

The insight that can come from looking into the etymology of your heart can have eternal value. Don't be afraid of what you find because God can use whatever you have.

And so, Godspeed...

Tending

When you have been living on your own for a while, getting married is like running into a brick wall... Everything changes - and it can be uncomfortable. Although because it is marriage it might be more like running into a mattress. Either way getting through it takes some work. The way I go about living my life changes. I don't do stuff when I want to, and I do stuff that I don't want to (dishes, trash, etc...)

In the long run however, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. I know that there will always be someone there for me, someone in my corner who is cheering me on... My biggest fan. Tonight I get to take care of my biggest fan. She is sick on the couch right now, fell asleep about half an hour ago. I am trying to think of it as my honor and privilege to tend to her.

In my tending to her I could not help but think that we all from time to time develop spiritual sickness of one kind or another. The symptoms that we develop depend on what it is that we are sick with (sin of one kind or another). Jesus, the great physician, helps us understand what it is we are sick with if we are willing to listen. But the real issue is, who tends to us when we are sick? What people; who is it in our life that will help us in the times when we are sick? Yes. Jesus is there, but Jesus many times cares for us through others.

Sometimes we are so sick we cannot help ourselves and we need others around us to carry us; to confront us (lovingly ;-) of course) and get us through our times of spiritual sickness. Then again sometimes it is enough just to know that someone is there. Sometimes just having someone in the same room with us is enough. Tending to someone who is sick may take many forms but the point is that someone is doing the tending.

So tonight I tend to the woman sick on the couch, and one of these days she will tend to me...

Beginnings

So I have been wanting to do this for a while now and I finally sat down and forced my self to do this. I am one of those guys who tends naturally to keep to myself but almost always has random thoughts popping in and out of my head. Which brings me to why I chose this title...

I chose the title of my blog really from the combination of two sources. First my mind can tend to wander from one random place to the next and the idea of capturing some of them and getting those out "there" seemed worth while.

A vagabond (according to dictionary.com) means wandering from place to place without any settled home; nomadic. Ragamuffin comes from a book by Brennan Manning and basically describes those who are poor, blind, lame, prostitutes, persecuted, downtrodden, held captive, the least, the last and the lost... and yet find that they are furiously loved by God. I kind of feel that sometimes physically but certainly spiritually we have all been there. Hence a vagabond ragamuffin is one who sometimes wanders but is always caught by the crazy love of God.

So I thought I might take some time to actually type out some of those meandering thoughts. Perhaps to leave a marker for any who may come behind me. Even though I wander, meandering through an imperfect concept of God, his love and how I can wrap my life around that, if and when I fall, it will be into his arms and his crazy love for me.